Today I feel really unloved. I feel trapped in this life of giving to others without getting anything in return. I feel so hopeless and so alone. My daughter is going to school full time, during covid, with no mask mandate, and high infection rates of Delta variant. I'm. Terrified. I also don't know what to do. I've written letters and no one seems to really care. I feel so lost and really scared. I don't want my daughter to die but I can't keep her here. I have to send her to school she needs their kids and she needs to be able to spread her wings. My heart is breaking. The last 6 and 1/2 years she's been with me. She's the best job I ever had and I'm not ready for it to be over. Our afternoons snuggling and reading books are some of the best memories I have in my life. I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I have all these ideas for our house, but I have no money. I feel so stuck. I feel like I have no friends who really get me and I feel like my husband doesn't love me anymore the way he used to because I've got lupus and I'm sick a lot. The only person who really loves me in this house is going to be gone. I'm completely shattered. O is my best friend. I don't know how to do this without her. I don't know how to have a day full of meaning and purpose without her.
Please Lord give me strength and help me to find purpose in my days. Fill them with joy and love is that is overflowing. Amen.
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